A Tale of Two Romneys: A Satirical Election Poem
***See my Inaugural Poem I wrote for B.O.! with background notes and explanations, great to teach in a classroom setting! Feel free to add a link!***
It was the Best of Times, it was the Worst of
Times.
On that pretty much
everyone agrees.
The election of two thousand and twelve, Dear
Friends,
was between President
Obama and the Two Romneys.
The country was sore
divided those pre-election days,
as much as anyone
likely-to-vote could rightfully recall.
But it was the tell-tale double speak of the
flip-flopping Romneys
that was the most
confusing thing of them all.
Now the second Romney ain’t his lovely wife, Ms.
Ann.
And neither am I talking:
The Big Polygamy.
But I do mean the two men that she’s been married
to:
the Grand Old Party’s
flag bearer: the flip-flopping Mitt Romney.
Mitt had a Gift of Contradicting his own words
really well.
It was because he had at
least two sides to his Ken doll face.
While he said one thing on the right, he slipped in
something left,
contradicting himself
three times in a short five-minute space.
Romney-on-the-Right said to his buddies the
“Haves-Some-More-Please”:
“I’ll cut your taxes to
boost America’s economy.
Scouts Honor, it won’t expand the debt or the
deficit.”
That’s the First Face of
the Two Flip-Flopping Mr. Romneys.
Romney-on-the-Left said, “I’ll create jobs for the
middle class
and help small business
to jumpstart our nation’s recovery.”
But he sent jobs overseas to China to cut his labor
costs.
That’s the Second Face of
the Two Flip-Flopping Mr. Romneys.
But now Mitt the Second’s bleeding heart (or is it
Mitt the First’s?)
truly cares for the
Forty-Seveners as if they were his own.
Like his gardener or his maid, the poolboy and the
cook,
the forty-seven percent
of entitled peeps he’s never really known.
And even though he’s short many a Congressional
vote,
Today, Tea Party Romney
swears he’ll repeal Obamacare.
But as Governor Yesterday he gladly signed a bill
Giving Massachusetts the
same Universal Healthcare.
Romney the Republican denies his great job on
health care
because, as Bill 40 said,
“It takes a lot of cajones
to attack someone for doing, the exact same thing
you just did.”
a.k.a. bulls**t, blarney,
or spam made from year-old baloney.
“I--t’s not the same thing,” Mitt One hems . . .and
then he quickly haws.
The same way Mitt Two
can’t or won’t say what tax loopholes he’ll close
to balance the budget while cutting taxes for the
very wealthy.
As Paul Ryan and Obama
say, “Guess only Romney (or God) knows.”
What happens to sick people who have no health
insurance plan?
Romney Bleeding Heart
smiles, “Well, there’s always the E.R.”
Then Tea Party Romney wonders if he’s being too
sympathetic;
Perhaps his show of
empathy went a little bit too far.
If you’re sixty-four today, you might listen a
little closer.
Romney the First swears
up and down he will not slash Medicare.
But Blue Cross is not required to take your
senior’s coupon voucher.
But Romney Two correctly
claims: “Vouchers can be used anywhere.”
What, you say? Mitt One and/or Mitt Two simply make
no sense?
But you’re still
undecided because . . .well, you simply just don’t know?
Then I’ve got a bridge to sell you over the Grand
Canyon.
It was built before the
Colorado dried up only three months ago.
How about Mitt One and Two’s positions on Abortion?
Well, Mitt the Religigo* (you heard the word here first**)
was pro-life during primaries, while as Governor
was pro-choice.
He’ll be pro-anything to
get your vote, for better or pro-worse.
At least Paul Ryan stands beside his religigo
convictions.
In cases of rape and
incest, a victim gets no relief.
That means per Ryan no abortion if your father
happens to rape you.
Your choice: Two Mitts
with zero conviction--or Paul’s pretty sick beliefs.
If the mother’s life is in danger, who the hell
gives a damn?
Not Ryan because says
Akin: We faithful have no doubt:
In legitimate rape (when the woman’s not lying)
her body “naturally”
kicks the fetus out!
By now, if you’re dizzy from the two Romneys
flip-flop flipping,
watching One Romney rub
his tummy while Romney Two pats his head.
Can you blame Obama for being a little muddled
debating two people
talking at once in blue, purple, and red?
Do you see the problems plural that’ll come if
either Romney wins?
We might go direct to
heaven and/or indirect to hell.
More importantly, how do we address an about-facing
salesman?
Is it Hail to Chief One
and/or Chief Two, too, or both of them as well?
It was the age of Wisdom and of even Greater
Folly.
The year of the Good, the
Bad, and the Two Flip-Flopping Romney’s.
Romney One is sure of This except when Romney Two
is not,
The only time he’s sure
is when he’s speaking inconsistencies.
Yet it’s probably safest to allow one of the many
Romney’s
to explain hisselves in
the only way he knows how to address.
For there is One who speaks in Red and Two who’s
dressed in light Blue,
but in one thing (or
maybe half) both Romney’s said it best:
“It is a far, far better thing that I speak than I
have ever spoken.
And a far better
statement I contradict than I have ever retracted.
It’s safe to say, I think, that anything I repeal
today
has either been already
vetoed or will soon be reenacted.”
A Tale of Two Romneys © Oct 10, 2012 by Ssal Nogard
*What's a Religigo? Read all about one! Her name is Luzy-Ann the Sectarian, the story of a religious bigot.
Politifact Awarded its Biggest Lie of the Year of 2012, bestowing Mitt Romney's ad on Jeep the dubious honor.
***See my Inaugural Poem I wrote for B.O.! with background notes and explanations, great to teach in a classroom setting! Feel free to add a link!***
Here is a link to Other Inaugural Poems from great poets like Robert Frost for J.F.K. and Maya Angelou for B.O., yeah!
HEY YOU GERMAN GUY READING THIS NOW! YEAH, YOU! YOU TOO, AMERICAN GUY, OR GAL, PLEASE ADD A LINK OR LEAVE A TWO-WORD COMMENT, SUCH AS "OKAY, I GUESS..." ;-)
I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TELL ME HOW BRILLIANT (OR IDIOTIC I AM, PREFERABLY THE LATTER). LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW EITHER WAY! =-)
OR ARE YOU READING FROM AUSTRALIA RIGHT NOW? LEAVE A HOWDY FROM DOWN UNDER? I WAS THERE A FEW YEARS AGO. LOVE THE GOLD COAST AND THE GORGEOUS CORAL DIVING!
BE SURE TO FRIEND ME ON FACEBOOK. I LOVE TO KNOW WHO'S READING MY WRITING. LOOK UP "SSAL NOGARD". THERE'S TWO OF US. I'M NOT, I REPEAT N-O-T THE GIRL WITH THE SUNGLASSES. HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS. PROBABLY AN IMPOSTER HIDING BEHIND SHADES!
OH, IT WAS ME INCOGNITO, I GOT RID OF HER! NO SSAL IN SUNGLASSES ANYMORE!
GEEZ-FRIG-KRISTO (I TRY NOT TO SAY JFK!) EIGHT PEOPLE READING, ONE FROM GERMANY AND NO COMMENTS YET? SO UNLOVED!
UM, REMEMBER FOLKS, MY PRINCESS BOO STORIES ARE NOT, I REPEAT, NOT PRINCESS BOO BOO. SHE IS ALSO NOT HONEY BOO BOO. PRINCESS BOO IS AN ALICE IN WONDERLAND (ALICE IM WUNDERLAND ANGESEHEN--DID I PRONOUNCE THAT RIGHT?--) STORY IN THE MAKING.
OH OH, I HAD THE COMMENT SETTINGS ALL WRONG! NOW YOU CAN COMMENT! ANYONE, ANONYMOUS, IMPOSTERS, PRETENDERS!
OKAY, AM I MISSING A COMMENT BOX? DO I NEED TO EMBED ONE? HOLD A SEC...WE'RE GETTING THERE!
Yeah! Finally got the Comment box working. Can't wait until someone, anyone, comments...but si'l vous plait, try not to be obscene...
...as in say geez-frig-kristo instead of JFK (shh!) the kids might hear...
QuICK, tell your friends who referred you to come back and comment! The Comment Box Awaits you, my friends!
And if you liked this poem, AND you like Led Zeppelin, then check out my "Houses of the Holy" posts. What you do is you crank up "Houses of the Holy" duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh, duh, bum bum, "Can I take you to the movies? Can I take you to the show?..." and then you start reading my "Continuation of Houses of the Holy" and "Here Comes Michael Walking" (that's part one) to Led Zep's Houses of the Holy
And then you can sing in time with the new lyrics. It works, it reallly works Mikey!
A little bit of background behind "And here comes Michael walking..." (can you hear it in time to "Can I take you to the movies?...") The line in Led Zeppelin's song that goes:
Spread the Word! "Like" it, Share it +1 on Google, Link it to your website or facebook page:
Befriend me on Facebook!
My Inaugural Poem for President Obama on Amazon
With Cliff Notes and Cheat Sheets Part I, , i.e., Background and Explanatory Notes Part II, and the Meaning behind the Rhyme (Part III) !
I Wanted to Bet on the Election but It is Not Allowed in the States!
Two Romneys: George and Mitt : The New Yorker
A Tale of Two Romneys © Oct 10, 2012 by Ssal Nogard
*What's a Religigo? Read all about one! Her name is Luzy-Ann the Sectarian, the story of a religious bigot.
Politifact Awarded its Biggest Lie of the Year of 2012, bestowing Mitt Romney's ad on Jeep the dubious honor.
***See my Inaugural Poem I wrote for B.O.! with background notes and explanations, great to teach in a classroom setting! Feel free to add a link!***
Here is a link to Other Inaugural Poems from great poets like Robert Frost for J.F.K. and Maya Angelou for B.O., yeah!
HEY YOU GERMAN GUY READING THIS NOW! YEAH, YOU! YOU TOO, AMERICAN GUY, OR GAL, PLEASE ADD A LINK OR LEAVE A TWO-WORD COMMENT, SUCH AS "OKAY, I GUESS..." ;-)
I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TELL ME HOW BRILLIANT (OR IDIOTIC I AM, PREFERABLY THE LATTER). LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW EITHER WAY! =-)
OR ARE YOU READING FROM AUSTRALIA RIGHT NOW? LEAVE A HOWDY FROM DOWN UNDER? I WAS THERE A FEW YEARS AGO. LOVE THE GOLD COAST AND THE GORGEOUS CORAL DIVING!
BE SURE TO FRIEND ME ON FACEBOOK. I LOVE TO KNOW WHO'S READING MY WRITING. LOOK UP "SSAL NOGARD". THERE'S TWO OF US. I'M NOT, I REPEAT N-O-T THE GIRL WITH THE SUNGLASSES. HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS. PROBABLY AN IMPOSTER HIDING BEHIND SHADES!
OH, IT WAS ME INCOGNITO, I GOT RID OF HER! NO SSAL IN SUNGLASSES ANYMORE!
GEEZ-FRIG-KRISTO (I TRY NOT TO SAY JFK!) EIGHT PEOPLE READING, ONE FROM GERMANY AND NO COMMENTS YET? SO UNLOVED!
UM, REMEMBER FOLKS, MY PRINCESS BOO STORIES ARE NOT, I REPEAT, NOT PRINCESS BOO BOO. SHE IS ALSO NOT HONEY BOO BOO. PRINCESS BOO IS AN ALICE IN WONDERLAND (ALICE IM WUNDERLAND ANGESEHEN--DID I PRONOUNCE THAT RIGHT?--) STORY IN THE MAKING.
OH OH, I HAD THE COMMENT SETTINGS ALL WRONG! NOW YOU CAN COMMENT! ANYONE, ANONYMOUS, IMPOSTERS, PRETENDERS!
OKAY, AM I MISSING A COMMENT BOX? DO I NEED TO EMBED ONE? HOLD A SEC...WE'RE GETTING THERE!
Yeah! Finally got the Comment box working. Can't wait until someone, anyone, comments...but si'l vous plait, try not to be obscene...
...as in say geez-frig-kristo instead of JFK (shh!) the kids might hear...
QuICK, tell your friends who referred you to come back and comment! The Comment Box Awaits you, my friends!
And if you liked this poem, AND you like Led Zeppelin, then check out my "Houses of the Holy" posts. What you do is you crank up "Houses of the Holy" duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh, duh, bum bum, "Can I take you to the movies? Can I take you to the show?..." and then you start reading my "Continuation of Houses of the Holy" and "Here Comes Michael Walking" (that's part one) to Led Zep's Houses of the Holy
And then you can sing in time with the new lyrics. It works, it reallly works Mikey!
A little bit of background behind "And here comes Michael walking..." (can you hear it in time to "Can I take you to the movies?...") The line in Led Zeppelin's song that goes:
"From the door comes Satan's daughter, and it only goes to show. You kno-ow. There's an angel on my shoulder."
Soo, immediately I thought of the archangel Michael with Satan's daughter.
Hi, United Kingdom guy/gal. How are you doing this fine morning?
OMG, two, count it, Not one, two people from Malaysia are reading this! Hey buddies, share it with your Filipino friends, hurry! =-)
***See my Inaugural Poem I wrote for B.O.!***
Hi, United Kingdom guy/gal. How are you doing this fine morning?
OMG, two, count it, Not one, two people from Malaysia are reading this! Hey buddies, share it with your Filipino friends, hurry! =-)
***See my Inaugural Poem I wrote for B.O.!***
Spread the Word! "Like" it, Share it +1 on Google, Link it to your website or facebook page:
I don't know how to promote things, so every little
bit helps! In
solidarity!
Leave a comment, good or bad. Hey, I’m a big girl, I can
take it (sort of)! ;-)
Befriend me on Facebook!
My Inaugural Poem for President Obama on Amazon
With Cliff Notes and Cheat Sheets Part I, , i.e., Background and Explanatory Notes Part II, and the Meaning behind the Rhyme (Part III) !
I Wanted to Bet on the Election but It is Not Allowed in the States!
Two Romneys: George and Mitt : The New Yorker
A Tale of Two Speeches - Slate Magazine
Obama blames 'Romnesia' for opponent's positions, as he campaigns in Virginia
Romnesia, Mitt Romney - YouTube
Twitter / Search - #Romnesia
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MY OTHER WRITINGS
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